Hakuoki: Demon of the fleeting blossom: Okita Route (yes, spoilers)

 So my first play through of the first USA released ladies focused PSP Visual novel. What a mouthful. Normally I play VNs directed towards gentlemen where you spend your time dating lovely ladies and getting up skirt shots. But this is a different feeling all together!   Funny enough I read the manga this VN was based on back in the day when they first started releasing Shoujo Beat, the old girls manga magazine in the US titled 'Kaze Hikaru' . This VN has similar themes to it and I think is based on it. Don't quote me on that!

So on to my feelings about this VN route. I played it while suffering severe depression over my Fathers death (yes, yes you are tired of hearing about it I get it) The dark themes were wonderful to wallow in. I felt the characters despair and sadness and this route was full of these emotions. (HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD KIDS!). Okita's route is a very sad one. It ends in a mutually sad way with the characters fading into death together, so I just wallowed in my sadness with them.

Okita's route seems to explore the ideas of what is ones meaning in life, what are you living for, why do you do the things you do. When faced with the reality that everything you care for and depended on is falling apart, what choices do you make? With the main character on his side, he seems to endure, but without her he dies(yes I found some fun bad endings). Realizing that your body is not ideal and will keep you from doing the things you want to do in life is so depressing. I've been struggling with many of these feelings myself.  I found myself not wanting to put the game down after I got past Chapter 2, I needed to know what would happen.

I really wonder if The heroine is injected with the fake demon blood in the other routes like she is in this one. It was a pretty dramatic turn of events. Having your little brother be so bitter and evil as to wish you unhappiness in life would be a terrible fate. Yet in a way she found happiness in her illness. To live out your life just being with someone you love can't be the worst of fates.

Disgaea:Hour of Darkness (yes, spoilers)

So the game I most recently took part in and beat was Disgaea: Hour of Darkness on my PSP. I really did NOT want to play this. At all. I am not a fan of TRPGs, and this looked like another dull TRPG. But my roomate talked me into playing it. By telling me I had to. Over. And OVER. AND OVER. So I finally picked it up and worked my way though the game.

To start, the plot. I loved this games plot. I thought it was going to be campy, but it actually surprised me with its depth. I really need to start trusting my roomates taste in games. He has amazing taste in games. If he tells me I will like a game I normally do. This is just another prime example of this truth. 

The characters are all rounded and grow, and the humor is just a mask over much darker themes. As someone who just lost her Father, this game held lots of themes of parent loss and dealing with becoming despite adversity. Many tears were shed when the red moon rose. I want to cosplay as a Prinny now. As someone who has attempted suicide... I relate to them!

Most suprisingly awesome character? Jennifer! Sure she dresses like a beach bimbo, but don't let her looks fool you! This character is probably the most interesting one in the game. Despite living her life as a side-kick. Jennifer is a brilliant girl. She is confident and true to herself and reflects a human worthy of praise. Again all the adoption themes really got to me, but I enjoyed her growth and revelations. It is hilarious that she is working for a moronic man when her IQ is out of this atmosphere.

Gameplay wise, this game was a grind fest. But I found after crazy power leveling Laharl and a few mages (admittedly I handed the PSP to my roomate and had him do it for me because there is something broken in that man that makes it so he does not hate power leveling). Walking around Terra Earth/Fire/Ice ing as well as Dimension Slashing my enemies I rarely had any trouble at all. Admittedly in this way I cheated.

 The end game pissed me the hell off(the normal ending) it really was just not fair. MAJOR SPOILERS: When Laharl cried his line about abandonment and his mother to Flonne I actually had to poker face the intense meh that made me feel. My roomate wanted me to react so I refused, but man on man do I relate as someone who has been abandoned by just about everyone I have ever cared about.  The good ending is much more fun. I love flonnes change.

Overall: 4/5 for this game. It was good. But not the best. It is no Persona 3!

Life is the pits

She tells me she just is too old to be mothered, and thus does not like her Fathers girlfriend. I can only imagine having the freedom to choose to not like anything concerning my Father. It is amazing how things that you never noticed before start being things you care about as the time drips on and you realize the hole in your life. A hole that you could have imagined when you were in your 40s are 50s. But never in your 20s or younger. The despair that leaks when you realize that the few things you held as solid start to slip like time from your fingers, or even worse are ripped like a treat from a dogs teeth from your hand. Life seems to not be forgiving sometimes, just hurting you when you need it to be kind. How do you claw your way out of a pit when it is lined with the spittle of the monster that wishes to eat you at the bottom? If you use force you will accelerate towards doom. Go to slow and the tenacles will find you and drag you. That is right. Life is a Sarlac pit.