So this rant has spoilers for Hoard of the Dragon Queen Chapter 1. If you are playing D&D encounters and your character is level 1, or you are not yet playing this module but plan to. Please don't read this rant. I want you to enjoy the game without being spoiled to what happens. If you are a DM or otherwise not interested in playing HotDQ, read on.
So first adventure starts. I am nervous. What if I don't like DMing, what if my players think I suck? What if I fuck up and the entire party TPKs first adventure what if what if what if. But swallowing my fear I allow myself to 'jump in' and start dming.
Right off the bat with the first combat I know things are insane. The sorcerer is fucking things up. The group runs into cowering villagers and he decides a young girl is now his 'women' he drags her around like a rag doll with him.... then the Rogue makes rolls and suddenly he has a Kobald slave... OK then... great... the poor girl is still trying to escape from the Sorcerer and failing miserably. The plot starts in a Keep in the middle of the town, so I am trying to direct them to the plot... they seem more intersted in loots. Too much Skyrim...
So I bring the first key plot point in. A family running from Cultists and Kobalds. The Sorcerer is attracted to the Wife. He does not succeed at seducing her... but they are not helping the villagers either and are not heading for the keep. So to try and encourage them I decide to descend a small army of 30 kobalds on the city. I am hoping they will run for the Keep. Of COURSE they did not. They decide to bunk up in a two story house near by and fight off the Kobald army. So... what do we do? How do we get them out and running for the keep? Blue dragon... THAT will work... So I have the kobalds 'summon' the dragon (who is being controlled) and instead of running away they decide to face it. The summoner is on the roof with his village girl (who is engaged to a candle maker) and trying to negotiate with the dragon. The Druid and Rogue are shooting Kobalds from inside... the Barbarian is guarding the door... The dragon breath attacks the Sorcerer. This would kill him... so he 'sacrifices a virgin' aka the villager girl. Then decides to try and destroy the roof the dragon is on... And succeeds... now they are trying to bring the building down on the dragon... I NEED this dragon later... SHIT they have him trapped... FUCK FUCK FUCK. Oh look dragons have legendary save abilities... they can CHOOSE to make a save, fuck this guys. The dragons escapes... the barbarian is buried in rubble...
We all decide we need more kobald slaves. Rolls are made... they have three now... FUCK. Ok I have finally got them to the keep thank fucking god. Instead of offering to help the governer they are demanding tribute to help him. He offers them nobel titles after someone suggests it... I am going to give them the shittiest titles ever... but hey they are going to give them.
Writing this I realize that it is 6.20am... I have to be on a bus to go to work in 2 hours and I am not a wink tired... oh well.
Anyway... the Governor gets them to go save a burning mill... on the way they decide to get horses. The rogue steals the nicest horse he can find, a black horse with two rotten teeth. The dwarf takes a normal horse... and the Sorcerer takes a Mule and ropes a pitchfork to it to make it a 'battle mule' and then names it Kelly. Yes... Kelly. If you get that reference fml yeah he went there.
They barge out the front gate mauling accultists left and right, another kobald joins them... as well as an ambush drake. When they get to the mill the ambush drake runs into his mate and leaves. I will bring them back later. They are ambused at the mill... nothing phases them... heads are exploded off and caught in the air. Brains are rubbed on balls... spears are dodged... failure to knock hay off a loft happens... and that is where it stopped...
Oh and they have a guard on their side now. Yes. My PCs currently have 4 kobalds and a mercenary guard army.
So besides all that... I THINK they are ACTUALLY having fun. One of my players told me tonight that the
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