"I havn't gotten around to that book"~Me
"From anyone else I would accept that excuse."~Boyfriend
*inquisitive look"
"You read like a mofo, it is just like, giant tome, lol, one day"~Boyfriend
Apparently my boyfriend thinks highly of my reading skills.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Shades of Grey:Chapters 2-8
Ok so this book kept me up all night last night, I kept wanting to read more.Well I did. It was good, until the sex scene. When they started having sex, well I have read better sex scenes in fanfiction.
Spoilers:
There is a scene where her best friend Jose trying to force himself on her, what is it about jerky best friend males forcing themselves on you? I had a guy friend do this to me in my first college experience and it is pretty traumatizing. You know what is more traumatizing, the ridiculous feeling in ones head that future moronic choices they make are somehow your fault because you did not give them what they wanted.
Kate: Kate seems awesome, it bothers me that Ana pities her after she has sex with Christians brother. A women who knows what she wants and takes it is top form in *my* book.
That being said, Christian has gone from perfect dom to needy and creepy, and the book is losing its appeal quickly now that they have had sex.
Spoilers:
There is a scene where her best friend Jose trying to force himself on her, what is it about jerky best friend males forcing themselves on you? I had a guy friend do this to me in my first college experience and it is pretty traumatizing. You know what is more traumatizing, the ridiculous feeling in ones head that future moronic choices they make are somehow your fault because you did not give them what they wanted.
Kate: Kate seems awesome, it bothers me that Ana pities her after she has sex with Christians brother. A women who knows what she wants and takes it is top form in *my* book.
That being said, Christian has gone from perfect dom to needy and creepy, and the book is losing its appeal quickly now that they have had sex.
Shades of Grey, Chapter 1
Since I made a long rant about BDSM and this book, I decided to get a hold of a copy of Shades of Grey and start reading it for myself to scrutinize if it is indeed 'unhealthy' bdsm like some people have said.
So lets start with chapter 1. Spoilers ahead kids.
The book is written by a bristish lady about a Washington University lit student. It opens with the main character having self image problems, looking in a mirror, feeling inadequate and just going out the door anyway. She is on a quest for her ill roommate to give a millionaire executive a interview for their school newspaper. She drives to Seattle, and notices many sexy blonde secretaries (something many insecure girls notice). She has a very heated conversation and feels sexually attracted to the executive (who is late 20s), and they have a conversation about control. She makes ridiculous conclusions, and he actually describes what is considered in the BDSM community as a healthy dom perspective on life. He feels he has the power and knowledge to help lead people to their full potential, and that is how he runs his life and buisness. So far the only unwanted touching that seems to have happened is that he put her coat on her when she was leaving in a manner that is still considered gentlemanly.
So overall my opinion of chapter one is:
-Main character is relateable
-Main guy is pretty much text book ideal healthy dom
-Writing is far superior to Twilight
-I Want to read more....
So lets start with chapter 1. Spoilers ahead kids.
The book is written by a bristish lady about a Washington University lit student. It opens with the main character having self image problems, looking in a mirror, feeling inadequate and just going out the door anyway. She is on a quest for her ill roommate to give a millionaire executive a interview for their school newspaper. She drives to Seattle, and notices many sexy blonde secretaries (something many insecure girls notice). She has a very heated conversation and feels sexually attracted to the executive (who is late 20s), and they have a conversation about control. She makes ridiculous conclusions, and he actually describes what is considered in the BDSM community as a healthy dom perspective on life. He feels he has the power and knowledge to help lead people to their full potential, and that is how he runs his life and buisness. So far the only unwanted touching that seems to have happened is that he put her coat on her when she was leaving in a manner that is still considered gentlemanly.
So overall my opinion of chapter one is:
-Main character is relateable
-Main guy is pretty much text book ideal healthy dom
-Writing is far superior to Twilight
-I Want to read more....
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Old and Entitled
Do you ever run into people who are old, and thus feel they are entitled to be dicks? People who believe they deserve extra respect just for being alive longer, not for special merit? Well today I ran into one of these people.
My job at 'undisclosed coffee shop' provides wireless for free TO OUR CUSTOMERS. There is a sign on the window offering 'free wifi', to portray this. Any sane person understand that if you are going to go to a coffee shop and use their wireless, you are expected to buy some, anything, to claim your right to be there. It is just a kind of 'street knowledge'
Well today an old man came into my shop, asked me about my menu, said he wanted a coffee and would be back later. He came back later today and sat down, and got out his Mac (don't get me started on my disgust of mac users) and asked me to help him connect to the internet. After spending 10 minutes explaining (and looking up mac tutorials on my work computer because fuck macs I am not going to waste my time learning how to use inferior hipster technology) I finally get him set up with the internet, and I offer to get a coffee started for him (as we had discussed before) and he gruffly is like 'NO' and I thought 'well maybe he will order it later' and went about my business of running my shop. About half an hour later he makes a backhanded snarky comment and the music being 'stupid young people music' then later tells some misogynist joke about football which makes me want to snore.
So it comes close to close and I have just been slammed with my normal 'oh man the shop is closing in 30 minutes we ALL have to go NOW' crowd. I am cleaning up and tell the man we are closed. He looks at his clock and grumbles and super slowly starts packing up. I then say 'By the way, next time you come in I would like it if you purchased something, if you are going to sit here for hours...' And oh man the jerk exploded out of him. He started giving me lip about some made up in his head oregon law that if I have 'free wifi' he is entitled to use my internet without a purchase. To which I reply that we are a business and our free wifi is for CUSTOMERS not random smucks off the street(ok I implied the smucks part I don't have the gall or bad customer service/jerktude to actually say that out loud). Then he gives me some speech about 'knowing' one of my co-workers and how he had planned to come by for breakfast tomorrow(we are not open until noon good luck with that one). But god. The nerve. I was BEING POLITE. He was sucking up electricity, making requests and mooching our internet. How dare he be a jerk to me after all the effort I put into him when he gave me no tips and paid for nothing. If he comes in again without ordering I am accidentally going to block his IP and act like I am too stupid to know what is going on when he whines.
/end rant
My job at 'undisclosed coffee shop' provides wireless for free TO OUR CUSTOMERS. There is a sign on the window offering 'free wifi', to portray this. Any sane person understand that if you are going to go to a coffee shop and use their wireless, you are expected to buy some, anything, to claim your right to be there. It is just a kind of 'street knowledge'
Well today an old man came into my shop, asked me about my menu, said he wanted a coffee and would be back later. He came back later today and sat down, and got out his Mac (don't get me started on my disgust of mac users) and asked me to help him connect to the internet. After spending 10 minutes explaining (and looking up mac tutorials on my work computer because fuck macs I am not going to waste my time learning how to use inferior hipster technology) I finally get him set up with the internet, and I offer to get a coffee started for him (as we had discussed before) and he gruffly is like 'NO' and I thought 'well maybe he will order it later' and went about my business of running my shop. About half an hour later he makes a backhanded snarky comment and the music being 'stupid young people music' then later tells some misogynist joke about football which makes me want to snore.
So it comes close to close and I have just been slammed with my normal 'oh man the shop is closing in 30 minutes we ALL have to go NOW' crowd. I am cleaning up and tell the man we are closed. He looks at his clock and grumbles and super slowly starts packing up. I then say 'By the way, next time you come in I would like it if you purchased something, if you are going to sit here for hours...' And oh man the jerk exploded out of him. He started giving me lip about some made up in his head oregon law that if I have 'free wifi' he is entitled to use my internet without a purchase. To which I reply that we are a business and our free wifi is for CUSTOMERS not random smucks off the street(ok I implied the smucks part I don't have the gall or bad customer service/jerktude to actually say that out loud). Then he gives me some speech about 'knowing' one of my co-workers and how he had planned to come by for breakfast tomorrow(we are not open until noon good luck with that one). But god. The nerve. I was BEING POLITE. He was sucking up electricity, making requests and mooching our internet. How dare he be a jerk to me after all the effort I put into him when he gave me no tips and paid for nothing. If he comes in again without ordering I am accidentally going to block his IP and act like I am too stupid to know what is going on when he whines.
/end rant
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Sexy Abuse vs. BDSM
I have noticed a very disturbing trend in novels that are popular (IE Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey)
in idolizing abusive relationships. Now, I have not read 50 shades of grey, and I probably should to make this judgement. But I have read Twilight, and through the bad spelling, errors in grammar and VERY DULL plot line one thing is clear to me. Bella is a broken little girl, she gets sexually assualted by Jacob (a line about him forcing a kiss on her against her will, and her deciding it is OK halfway through, that is not healthy!), she gets abused in every way possibly mentally by Edward. He isolates her from her friends, stalks her, talks down to her ect.
So this 50 shades of grey book is SUPPOSE to be BDSM, but let me say it is NOT an example of healthy bdsm relationships. The key ingredient in a Dom/sub relationship is trust. If for example, a guy has you tied up, and gagged and you are 100% under his control, you have to trust him to not do anything on your list of hard or even soft NO lines. In my past, I have had a guy take naked pictures without my consent, then try and manipulate(and initially succeeding) in convincing me I was ok with this. Nude pictures are a hard NO for me. I don't want nude pictures of me on the internet, I am NOT ok with people having nude pictures of me, and if I find anyone spreading nude pictures of me, they can bet I am taking them to court for it. If you find yourself being 'convinced' or 'talked' into doing things you are NOT ok with, it is time to get out of a relationship. If someone loves and cares about you, they won't push you into things you are not comfortable with. Because they are a respectful human being. BDSM is about people (like myself) who enjoy pain and power play setting up firm boundaries with someone they trust and playing out scenes under these fantasies and fetishes. You need to have a safe word, and there needs to be some physical gesture you can make if you are gagged. The MOMENT this motion is made your partner needs to stop. I have personally only used my safeword once, and it was a great moment to see my partner stop and turn from playfully aggressive to kind and concerned.
So remember this when you read books where men mentally dominate women(or physically) in an aggressive and unhealthy manner. Aggression is not healthy. Trust is.
in idolizing abusive relationships. Now, I have not read 50 shades of grey, and I probably should to make this judgement. But I have read Twilight, and through the bad spelling, errors in grammar and VERY DULL plot line one thing is clear to me. Bella is a broken little girl, she gets sexually assualted by Jacob (a line about him forcing a kiss on her against her will, and her deciding it is OK halfway through, that is not healthy!), she gets abused in every way possibly mentally by Edward. He isolates her from her friends, stalks her, talks down to her ect.
So this 50 shades of grey book is SUPPOSE to be BDSM, but let me say it is NOT an example of healthy bdsm relationships. The key ingredient in a Dom/sub relationship is trust. If for example, a guy has you tied up, and gagged and you are 100% under his control, you have to trust him to not do anything on your list of hard or even soft NO lines. In my past, I have had a guy take naked pictures without my consent, then try and manipulate(and initially succeeding) in convincing me I was ok with this. Nude pictures are a hard NO for me. I don't want nude pictures of me on the internet, I am NOT ok with people having nude pictures of me, and if I find anyone spreading nude pictures of me, they can bet I am taking them to court for it. If you find yourself being 'convinced' or 'talked' into doing things you are NOT ok with, it is time to get out of a relationship. If someone loves and cares about you, they won't push you into things you are not comfortable with. Because they are a respectful human being. BDSM is about people (like myself) who enjoy pain and power play setting up firm boundaries with someone they trust and playing out scenes under these fantasies and fetishes. You need to have a safe word, and there needs to be some physical gesture you can make if you are gagged. The MOMENT this motion is made your partner needs to stop. I have personally only used my safeword once, and it was a great moment to see my partner stop and turn from playfully aggressive to kind and concerned.
So remember this when you read books where men mentally dominate women(or physically) in an aggressive and unhealthy manner. Aggression is not healthy. Trust is.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Missing Magic
The last time I built a computer was in 2005, and I still have that computer. It was a magical process, building it from scratch and watching it boot and a blank slate was there for me to build, it made me feel like a magician and my entire life was brighter that day. Well today I put together a new computer, I have been lurking about using my partners PC, using a barely functional laptop from 2007, and barely keeping my 05 computer running. Electronics age, they just are not made to be used heavily for 5+ years.
I had ordered this computer off w00t, I did not build it from scratch, I don't have the time or money to invest in a computer I would consider worthy of building. It is a very nice computer, 1 TB hard-drive, 4GB of Ram, a dual core processor. Perfectly suitable for someone who does light gaming and lots of sitting around writing stories and playing around on her computer. I don't regret my purchase. It was less than 300 dollars.
But.
The magic is no longer there, I am not excitedly finding a wallpaper to install. I am just sitting here going 'yeeeep' and staring at it. There is no feeling of the world suddenly being more brilliant and shiny because I have a new toy. Why? I really don't know why. Maybe with time I am becoming disillusioned to material gain happiness. Classes start on Monday, oh right. I am going back to school. Maybe I forgot to say that.
I had ordered this computer off w00t, I did not build it from scratch, I don't have the time or money to invest in a computer I would consider worthy of building. It is a very nice computer, 1 TB hard-drive, 4GB of Ram, a dual core processor. Perfectly suitable for someone who does light gaming and lots of sitting around writing stories and playing around on her computer. I don't regret my purchase. It was less than 300 dollars.
But.
The magic is no longer there, I am not excitedly finding a wallpaper to install. I am just sitting here going 'yeeeep' and staring at it. There is no feeling of the world suddenly being more brilliant and shiny because I have a new toy. Why? I really don't know why. Maybe with time I am becoming disillusioned to material gain happiness. Classes start on Monday, oh right. I am going back to school. Maybe I forgot to say that.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Pride
Today my partner, my best friend, an online friend and I went to a Pride Festival/Parade. I have never felt so normal in my life. For once I was not the 'quirky' dressed girl. Everywhere around me there were attractive women, funky clothing, and eccentric styles. <3 It is great being in a bisexual relationship because you can go to an event like this and check everyone out together.
After a very colorful and fun parade we went and did some shopping. I picked up a gorgeous black and gold starfish necklace that was hand crafted in glass. My partner picked up 3 well hanging creepers. My best friend got a cute skirt and my online friend got a cat toy. It was a fun day.
After a very colorful and fun parade we went and did some shopping. I picked up a gorgeous black and gold starfish necklace that was hand crafted in glass. My partner picked up 3 well hanging creepers. My best friend got a cute skirt and my online friend got a cat toy. It was a fun day.
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